Although I've always seen the world through an artistic lens, I've never slept with actual art on my sheets!

Trying to let Axel exhibit some independence while I clean, pack and purge, I never realized that my bed would erupt into a canvas.  On the loose with a green crayon, he made a few nice drawings on the largest blank slate he's ever had access to.  Must have been amazing for the 5 minutes before I caught him.

I was happily cleaning out the linen closet, ridding the bathroom of old product; literally I was just inches from him.  Trying to avoid eye contact...he was playing so quietly...should have been a sign.

My tip off was when he came in search of paper towels to "wipe".  He had attempted to clean the crayon with Windex off my night stand, and realized after soaking my pillow in Windex that he had gone too far.

Well, I've found out that although I claim to be a "professional re-locator", this is my first experience with child.  hmmmm, really takes the enjoyment out of the process.

Between the kid and the craptastic apartment we are not "moving into", but only "staying at for a short time", this is bound to be the most interesting move yet.

The move is sensed by all.  The dog especially.  I found him yesterday afternoon staking out the roof of his dog house ("This better be coming with us!").  Axel decided it best to hide with the one thing I am sure to not leave behind, my china.

Today we celebrated our last birthday in this house, Jahred's.  I'm secretly jealous that everyone got to spend one last birthday here...while I will be spending mine in a less desirable place.

I'm back from my travels, back to a birthday, family and a laundry list of chores.  (Use of laundry list is here dedicated to a professor from my college days who in our eyes could do nothing right.  She could however find several uses for "laundry list" every lecture and by some tongue spasm add about 4 unnecessary syllables to the word "laundry").

Despite having 2 wishes for my vacation: to come home to NO SNOW and a SOLD house.  I only got 1 of my wishes.  THE HOUSE IS SOLD!!  Not to jinx it of course, but the final purchase agreement was signed yesterday we are free to go in just 6 weeks.

Similar to a caged bird, the fears are now setting in that I will not remember how to fly...or rather build a new home yet again.  After I stretch my legs for a few months in a "lovely" apartment, Jahred will finish school and we can officially start our lives as being "not-self-employed".  

With all the house hullabaloo, it was easy for me to forget that Axel has actually turned 2.  Most people probably celebrate their child's birthday, but for me it's a difficult milestone.  At 2 it's official that you can no longer use the excuse "I just had a baby".

Well, more to post eventually, but a few pics to tide you over.

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Took another bullet this week, more like a rapid-fire succession of kicks to the face.

Starting with a day of being locked out of the house, having to purchase a potty on the road after very public argument with a 2 year old, lost my phone in the process, found my phone, spent 9 hours on the road watching DVD's and awaited husband without phone to return at his leisure.  Last weekend, 3 days post lock out, spent 3 hours waiting in the car for rude people looking at our house; said people had very rude children who tramped their boots throughout my house.  Rude people returned for a second showing yesterday, spent 1.5 hours in my house, I spent 1.5 hours again in the car (with dog and child). Rude people chose another house because their agent said ours was "alright" but over-priced.  No coincidence they purchased a less expensive house in a crappy neighborhood.  Can't we just state the obvious?  They are broke as hell and couldn't afford our home, so they spent the entire weekend dreaming in my living room?

Whew.  How many favors, how often do I have to go out of my way for someone, how often do I have to build everyone else up, how many times can I just tighten up my boots and move forward?

I feel like my moto should be "buck up little camper", while most other people seem to have a balance of positive and negative.  26 years of creating good karma, only to get kicked when I'm down repeatedly.

Perhaps I should just focus on the good things happening AROUND me, not necessarily happening TO me.  I shall try that this week.

Axel and I are taking a much needed vacation to Florida next Tuesday.  Aside from major anxiety of getting him there alive, surviving his public bathroom phobia and not allowing people to shoot flames at me and my crazy child on the plane, it should be a great break from stress and the town that I feel so stuck in.

When I return, the house will be sold I'm sure, the snow will be melted and the cycle of bad luck will be broken.  Zip code rule right?  It can't follow me to the southern states and back...can it?

Back into the routine of the semester, Axel and I find ourselves alone most of the day again.

I'm always trying to teach him new things, and often forget to learn them myself.  Today however, I myself learned 2 things.

#1 - Dogs to not tolerate homemade Playdoh.  Upon just a tiny spilled morsel, Oscar proceeded to empty his "empty" stomach.  I wasn't lucky enough for him to have eaten his breakfast.  Only bile + Playdoh hit the carpet (why barf on the 90% of our flooring that is wood?) and let me tell you, dog bile isn't the clearish liquid our is...does "yellow food coloring/snot" create a clear enough picture for you?

Luckily that was the first thing I learned this morning.  The second totally redeemed the first.

#2 - Having to buy Marshmallow Matees (instead of Lucky Charms...I've had to discontinue even brand name dish washer soap...designer cereal is out of the question) the plastic bag they come in has a clear window.  I initially considered the window a preview, so I could purchase the bag with the MOST marshmallows.  Today however, I discovered the true purpose of the window.  It's so when you are reaching in to pick out just the marshmallows, you can see what you're getting into.  Using the window has made a huge improvement in my choosy accuracy and thankfully I will no longer be grabbing the grain pieces. Whew...glad I figured that one out.  Malt-O-Meal is genius!

An exciting morning.  This afternoon, I might just decide to learn something else!

Some things you want your kids to experience because you remember them as being really spectacular!  I've found however that many times as an adult these come as disapointments and tend to taint the perfectly preserved memories of childhood.  When I heard that "Sesame Street Live" was coming to town, I wondered whether this would be one of those cases?  Willing to take the risk, I immediately purchased 3 tickets, second row, to "123 Imagine with Elmo".

Axel is a Sesame addict and although he would retain no memory or joy from the experience (he's only 1 for goodness sake), I figured it would be a night well spent.

Yesterday was the big day and mid morning I got a call that my brother Andy was coming for a surprise visit.  Perfect!  He was an even bigger Sesame fan than I was!  I sacrificed my ticket, sent him in my place, and couldn't have been more happy to do so!

With the bag packed, child care instructions given and camera ready, I dropped Jahred, Axel and Andy off at the door.  Nearly bounding for the entrance, I thought Andy might knock some kids over!

Two things were great about this situation: Andy got the experience Sesame LIVE 20 years after our first time as kids, and I got to preserve my flawless recollection of childhood wonder.

An hour and 45 minutes later they called to say it was over.  Bounding once again to the car, I heard the rave reviews.  The seats were AWESOME, Axel was covered in streamers that blew off the stage, they had resisted purchasing an over-priced fiber-optic piece of crap and most of all, Axel sat motionless in complete awe for the entire performance!

No better satisfaction for a mother to know that an evening was meticulously planned and enjoyed.

On a less fabulous day like today, I have already stopped a tantrum by using 50 cents worth of tape to repair a 2 cent paper towel.

You never know what's coming down the shoot.

...Axel finally looked at the camera.  He seems annoyed at having to turn from the action. Photos are courtesy of Andy who snapped 51 fabulous pictures of the show and 1 fuzzy shot of Axel.

Now that we've licked this potty business (even staying dry at night...just bragging), it's time to move on to bigger and better things.  This week I'll be teaching Axel Calculus.  :)

No, really...it seems the mundane has set in again.  The house is back on the market, this time with a new Realty Company and a hell-of-a-lot more stains on the rugs.  I have found with jute rugs however, stains seem to disappear over time, and over time as well, my house is BOUND TO SELL!

I even offered to take the photos for this go-around, creating a "virtual tour".  I figure anything I can do to make it more noticeable, and gain a little good karma!

While Axel is dreaming away I sweat out some calories on the treadmill while mentally re-organizing my Etsy shop.  I have determined from my 2 week Etsy vacancy that it really is "what I put into it".  I haven't been updating, adding new things and what I see most critical is that I'm not BUYING.  Is Etsy just one big money cycle, you spend on Etsy and others spend in your shop?  Something to ponder.  I have been getting lots of word of mouth customers (and they tend to be happier and less demanding anyway).

On, POTTY GIVEAWAY!  I am super excited to announce that the winner (by random drawing from a Red Wing Crock) is Shelly!  She is Jahreds aunt and the source of 90% of our toys!  Shelly, you'll be getting a surprise in the mail (just for you and the birds...no sharing with any boys in your house).

THANK YOU so much for the many tips on coloring the toilet water and especially the tip from Jen!  You provided perhaps the tip I am most likely to use.  Peeing in a parking lot instead of the car seat will come in handy as we are on the road a lot.  Luckily, having a boy, it will be a little less obvious...I may even start parking towards the back, or beside large trucks.  Probably should wait until spring before giving it a whirl...Jahred warned me of potential frostbite.

Check out the pictures of how clean my house was for 5 minutes.  What you can't see are the piles of kid crap just around the corners of each image.  The 4th picture of the blue stairs is the reason I fell in love with this house.  A walk up attic.  The old fashioned wall paper, the blue paint alone; remnants of a better time.  When I saw them for the first time on our initial tour, I spontaneously flashed back to the first book I fell in love with "Diary of Anne Frank".  After that book, I looked for secret stair cases everywhere.  My personal blue staircase walks up from inside my closet, almost like a private escape to possibility, dreams and my very own sauna in the summer.

Oh wow, I had no idea my week would turn out this way.

May I be so vein as to say, "my kid is soooo smart", actually smarter than I?!  Ok, so on Monday, I thought perhaps we would succeed at this potty training thing; but I had no idea that just like getting pregnant, it would turn out to be that experiment in Organic Chemistry that actually worked for ONCE!

Seriously, Axel may not be the most graceful, he is known to swear like a sailor (or maybe his mother), and when it comes to sleeping in his own bed, he sucks.  Going on the potty, this kid gets.

It's all business with this boy.  After a rough 2 days, we now have 3 dry naps and 2 days with only 1 accident (which was actually my fault).  It's like his 23 month old brain is just like "simple...what else you got Mom?"

The routine goes like this:
Axel - "potty" - does a little dance
Me - "Oh, ok, lets go." - bring him to the potty with book, shut door (upon his strict request)
Axel - "Oh wow." - leaves bathroom
Me - "Awesome.  High five." - flush the evidence

5 days of homebound nudity has really paid off and we may just be over the hump.  Don't get me wrong, we still need to master peeing in public toilets and leaving the house for more than an hour, but really, wow.

Today Axel and I ventured out on a solo mission in "undens" (his word for underwear).  After the captivity that was this week, the fridge was looking like a forgotten land.  We traveled to Cub and made it through the entire store loop.  I even took a HUGE gamble, doubling back for some forgotten items.  I carefully remembered to NOT place the food under where he was sitting, just in case.

When we approached the checkout however, things weren't looking so positive.  On a Friday morning, let me tell you how many lanes are open at your local Cub foods, ONE.  One lane and the daunting self-checkout.  I KNEW I couldn't do it myself while also keeping an eye on Axels bum, I chose the 1 open lane.

Unfortunately we found ourselves behind Grandma who had NO idea we were potty training and apparently had ALL day to do her shopping.  She had the clerk paging through the ad looking for a mysterious SALE on black olives.  "THEY'RE LIKE 75 CENTS A CAN...MOVE ALONG."  She was completely oblivious to my broken record of "keep your pants dry" growing louder with each passing minute.

After barely surviving that woman, the clerk looked at me and said, "Can you hang on a minute?"

"Um, NO, this kid is about to piss ALL OVER."

Not seeing the death look I was bestowing onto her, she turned around and proceeded to talk to a co-worker about sending a Birthday card around for Bill in the stock room.  Necessary??? **

No thanks to the lane 4 clerk, Axel made it though the store dry.  I lost a few years from my life, but all's well that ends well right?

Don't forget to sign up for my Potty GIVEAWAY in the previous post!  You don't even need to have experience in potty training, you only need to be potty trained yourself...just sign up for goodness sake!

**Just for the record, I don't expect every citizen of this country to bow down to me and my child; I just now have a better understanding of people in a hurry.  They aren't always trying to be rude, they may be on the verge of public defecation!

After showing intense readiness, we have decided to potty train Axel.  Here is my situation.

He carries potty around the house saying "poopy" and "potty".  He wants to put his own pants off and on.  He has an extensive vocabulary and is aware when he is "going" in his pants.

This all lead me to believe that he was ready to go on the potty.  What am I, nuts?

Starting on Monday, I committed to poop, pee and a little potty purchased from once-upon-a-child.  I know millions of babies and mommies are going through this very same process, but really...how isolated can you get?  I haven't left the house in 3 days, and I have seen few signs of improvement.

After much consideration we are using the complete nudity method, ditching the diapers entirely (except during sleepy time) and using a disappointed face when pee hits the floor.

Monday: 1 poop on potty, 1 pee on potty, rest were on the floor
Tuesday: 2 poops on potty, 4 pees on potty, rest were on the floor
Wednesday: so far, 2 pees on the potty, several pees on the floor.

Not sure if I should be encouraged with a 100% success rate for poopy?  I'm grasping for any signs of encouragement.

So, in my head, I'm saying "just quit", try again later.  In my heart, I know he can do it.  HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE to get to the point where you are having more than a 50% overall success rate?  I am pretty much banking on a week of pure torture and some improvement after that?

In order to pull some insight from you all, I am offering a giveaway!  Simply reply to this blog with your best potty training insight, and you'll get a chance to WIN an AWESOME Spring Nesting Box!

HELP!  I'm counting on you!  The giveaway will run through Sunday, January 17th.

Diligence has paid off this week.  Over the course of 2 days, I have managed to create 6 yummy meals for the freezer.  Really, one of my most favorite things is NOT having to cook, and furthermore, not having to come up with the IDEA of what to cook.

Creating 3 pans of Chicken with White Sauce in Jumbo shells and 3 pans of Rock-n-Roll lasagna...I am tooting my own horn just a little.

Because I think I'm so smooth in the kitchen (and with this html stuff...like the new look?) I'd like to share my " 1 hour = lasagna for 4 x 3 ".



Here's what you'll need:
3 8x8 or similar sized pans (ones you can freeze in)
2 lbs of ground beef (substitute for veggies or ground turkey to suit your dietary choices)
1 box of lasagna noodles (usually 18 come in a box...but check first)
3 small-medium blocks of your favorite cheeses (moz, parm, romano...even colby)
2.5 regular size jars of your favorite pasta sauce (or at least one your kids will eat)
*feel free to add in other ingredients or keep it simple

Directions:
Brown up the 2 lbs of beef while boiling the noodles in a large pot.  I like to boil the noodles to "al dente" which is just under 10 minutes.
When beef is browned, set aside.  When noodles are done, poor off the water, rinse a little in cold and leave them in their pan with just a little water (so they don't stick...add a little EVOO if you like).
Grate ALL the cheese.  Pour the sauce into a bowl.
Make jelly rolls!  Lay noodle flat, top with sauce, meat, cheese...roll in thirds.  See photos.
Arrange in pan (pack 'em tight).  Top with remaining sauce and cheese.
Cover and freeze.

Seriously, thats it.  1 hour, with a little practice and NO interruptions.

If you can love yourself enough to get the process started...you will be patting yourself on the back when you pull them out of the freezer ready to go.

As far as cooking directions.  You can take it out the night before and put it in the fridge (but who remembers that).  I usually grab them about 3:30pm (when I remember that I'm required to feed my family EVERY night), place the frozen meal (covered with foil) in the oven and cook at 350 degrees for 1.5 - 2 hours.  When the sides start bubbling, and you can stick your finger in a warm middle...GOOD TO GO!