Some things you want your kids to experience because you remember them as being really spectacular!  I've found however that many times as an adult these come as disapointments and tend to taint the perfectly preserved memories of childhood.  When I heard that "Sesame Street Live" was coming to town, I wondered whether this would be one of those cases?  Willing to take the risk, I immediately purchased 3 tickets, second row, to "123 Imagine with Elmo".

Axel is a Sesame addict and although he would retain no memory or joy from the experience (he's only 1 for goodness sake), I figured it would be a night well spent.

Yesterday was the big day and mid morning I got a call that my brother Andy was coming for a surprise visit.  Perfect!  He was an even bigger Sesame fan than I was!  I sacrificed my ticket, sent him in my place, and couldn't have been more happy to do so!

With the bag packed, child care instructions given and camera ready, I dropped Jahred, Axel and Andy off at the door.  Nearly bounding for the entrance, I thought Andy might knock some kids over!

Two things were great about this situation: Andy got the experience Sesame LIVE 20 years after our first time as kids, and I got to preserve my flawless recollection of childhood wonder.

An hour and 45 minutes later they called to say it was over.  Bounding once again to the car, I heard the rave reviews.  The seats were AWESOME, Axel was covered in streamers that blew off the stage, they had resisted purchasing an over-priced fiber-optic piece of crap and most of all, Axel sat motionless in complete awe for the entire performance!

No better satisfaction for a mother to know that an evening was meticulously planned and enjoyed.

On a less fabulous day like today, I have already stopped a tantrum by using 50 cents worth of tape to repair a 2 cent paper towel.

You never know what's coming down the shoot.

...Axel finally looked at the camera.  He seems annoyed at having to turn from the action. Photos are courtesy of Andy who snapped 51 fabulous pictures of the show and 1 fuzzy shot of Axel.

Oh wow, I had no idea my week would turn out this way.

May I be so vein as to say, "my kid is soooo smart", actually smarter than I?!  Ok, so on Monday, I thought perhaps we would succeed at this potty training thing; but I had no idea that just like getting pregnant, it would turn out to be that experiment in Organic Chemistry that actually worked for ONCE!

Seriously, Axel may not be the most graceful, he is known to swear like a sailor (or maybe his mother), and when it comes to sleeping in his own bed, he sucks.  Going on the potty, this kid gets.

It's all business with this boy.  After a rough 2 days, we now have 3 dry naps and 2 days with only 1 accident (which was actually my fault).  It's like his 23 month old brain is just like "simple...what else you got Mom?"

The routine goes like this:
Axel - "potty" - does a little dance
Me - "Oh, ok, lets go." - bring him to the potty with book, shut door (upon his strict request)
Axel - "Oh wow." - leaves bathroom
Me - "Awesome.  High five." - flush the evidence

5 days of homebound nudity has really paid off and we may just be over the hump.  Don't get me wrong, we still need to master peeing in public toilets and leaving the house for more than an hour, but really, wow.

Today Axel and I ventured out on a solo mission in "undens" (his word for underwear).  After the captivity that was this week, the fridge was looking like a forgotten land.  We traveled to Cub and made it through the entire store loop.  I even took a HUGE gamble, doubling back for some forgotten items.  I carefully remembered to NOT place the food under where he was sitting, just in case.

When we approached the checkout however, things weren't looking so positive.  On a Friday morning, let me tell you how many lanes are open at your local Cub foods, ONE.  One lane and the daunting self-checkout.  I KNEW I couldn't do it myself while also keeping an eye on Axels bum, I chose the 1 open lane.

Unfortunately we found ourselves behind Grandma who had NO idea we were potty training and apparently had ALL day to do her shopping.  She had the clerk paging through the ad looking for a mysterious SALE on black olives.  "THEY'RE LIKE 75 CENTS A CAN...MOVE ALONG."  She was completely oblivious to my broken record of "keep your pants dry" growing louder with each passing minute.

After barely surviving that woman, the clerk looked at me and said, "Can you hang on a minute?"

"Um, NO, this kid is about to piss ALL OVER."

Not seeing the death look I was bestowing onto her, she turned around and proceeded to talk to a co-worker about sending a Birthday card around for Bill in the stock room.  Necessary??? **

No thanks to the lane 4 clerk, Axel made it though the store dry.  I lost a few years from my life, but all's well that ends well right?

Don't forget to sign up for my Potty GIVEAWAY in the previous post!  You don't even need to have experience in potty training, you only need to be potty trained yourself...just sign up for goodness sake!

**Just for the record, I don't expect every citizen of this country to bow down to me and my child; I just now have a better understanding of people in a hurry.  They aren't always trying to be rude, they may be on the verge of public defecation!

After showing intense readiness, we have decided to potty train Axel.  Here is my situation.

He carries potty around the house saying "poopy" and "potty".  He wants to put his own pants off and on.  He has an extensive vocabulary and is aware when he is "going" in his pants.

This all lead me to believe that he was ready to go on the potty.  What am I, nuts?

Starting on Monday, I committed to poop, pee and a little potty purchased from once-upon-a-child.  I know millions of babies and mommies are going through this very same process, but really...how isolated can you get?  I haven't left the house in 3 days, and I have seen few signs of improvement.

After much consideration we are using the complete nudity method, ditching the diapers entirely (except during sleepy time) and using a disappointed face when pee hits the floor.

Monday: 1 poop on potty, 1 pee on potty, rest were on the floor
Tuesday: 2 poops on potty, 4 pees on potty, rest were on the floor
Wednesday: so far, 2 pees on the potty, several pees on the floor.

Not sure if I should be encouraged with a 100% success rate for poopy?  I'm grasping for any signs of encouragement.

So, in my head, I'm saying "just quit", try again later.  In my heart, I know he can do it.  HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE to get to the point where you are having more than a 50% overall success rate?  I am pretty much banking on a week of pure torture and some improvement after that?

In order to pull some insight from you all, I am offering a giveaway!  Simply reply to this blog with your best potty training insight, and you'll get a chance to WIN an AWESOME Spring Nesting Box!

HELP!  I'm counting on you!  The giveaway will run through Sunday, January 17th.

Despite feeling the nearly 2 years of isolation during the longest "snow day" in my career.  This is my first "real" snow day since grade school.

Jay Leno said during is opening monolog last night that according to survey, they "angriest" people on the planet are 20-30-something women who stay home with babies and toddlers.  Jay mentioned how scary that is...I know how sad it can be.  How glamorous it must seem to working men and women to be able to "wake up at your leisure" - yeah right; to "stay in your pajamas all day" - clearly not by choice; and to "coffee or lunch with your other stay-at-home friends" - I've been trying to schedule coffee with a friend for literally 18 months, hasn't happened yet.  One would think that a snow day for someone already stuck would seem devastating.

Something about this real snow day is different though.  Jahreds finals were cancelled today leaving him stuck inside with us.  Although it's terrible to delay the inevitable of a final, I have to admit, him being stuck home is a breath of fresh air for me!  

A REAL snow day today, just like when I was young, is MAGICAL.

If it weren't for the 30 mph winds, it would be hard to keep me indoors.  On a blustery day like today, I know I am a part of an exclusive club.  Very few regions of the world experience such extreme weather and have no excuses for a "snow day".  Even more exclusive is the club of those who have seen snow at all.  How bizarre to think the substance that brings nutrition to our spring grass, simultaneously causing so many road pileups and furnace malfunctions, has NEVER been seen by many fellow earthlings.  Some people read of snow in national geographic or hear of it in folklore...we curse it and love it every winter here in Minnesota.

Today on this REAL snow day in December, I am proudly still sporting my pajamas, I almost woke up at my leisure (thanks to a plow) but I probably won't get that coffee date with a friend.  Instead, I am listening to Jahred play with Axel, relieving my stress just a bit, and playing quietly in the basement with some fabulous new fibers.

Happy snow day to fellow Minnesotans...so sorry the rest of the world has to miss out!

If you're snowed in like me...check out the ALL NEW items in my Etsy shop.

Life for me is about moments registering hot OR cold.  The danger about hot OR cold is that warm AND cool, variations of the original, can mean vastly different experiences.

It wasn't until I became a mother that I started having hot and cold, warm and cool moments in rapid succession.

For example, yesterday, started beautifully, sun shining, a little leaf raking, lots of snacks...and then Axel learned something new.  Yesterday, my son figured out how to gag.  SICK right?  Like many before him, and hopefully to get it out of his system before the testy teenage years, Axel figured out that by cramming your hands in your mouth, you do something really strange.

Ok, I try not to react to shocking things.  Falls, minor scraps, toys mid flight down the stairs, little can get a reaction from me.  Growing up around boys, I learned quickly that a reaction is what they are searching for.  But, sitting in the living room, out of exciting things to do by 10am, and your toddler starts to gag and laugh at himself...AAHHHHHH.  Definitely a cold/reactive moment!

Thinking that Axel's "learning 1 thing new every day" will be gaging himself, I immediately thrust myself into action with coloring, stickers, even finger paints didn't stop the thrill of gagging.  A hot moment certainly.

Among the many things no one tells you, is that a toddler may learn something new everyday, but during sleep, God erases some of the terrible things.  By the time Axel had woken up from his nap, the gagging had stopped, and we could continue on with normalcy, and thankfully, boredom.

Later in the evening, I decided that Axel and I would go to the grocery store and pick out the candy for our average 300 trick-or-treaters.  Seeing as we only went for 1 thing, I made a potentially cool decision as a mother to let him push the kid carts for the first time.  

Stopping in front of every customers cart, Axel made direct eye contact with every SINGLE person we passed and greeted with a "hi" AND a "bye bye".  Not 1 person shopping at 6pm last night got away without noticing that Axel had reached a milestone.  Ultimate freedom.  I'm sure he warmed a few hearts in produce and definitely in the candy aisle.

Today, I started out cold.  A COLD...I thought I had kicked it a week ago, but it is revisiting for round 2.  Desperately trying to pour on the heat all day, I have shivered my way to now.

There is however a little warm to my day...I decided on the pattern I will use for Axel's 2009 Christmas sweater!  

My first knitting pattern book, 8 years ago maybe, featured a dreamy little sweater that I planned to knit for my baby "some day".  Paging through the book, I found the sweater with a tiny red post-it-note.  I had conveniently placed the sticker inside the book, so no one would know of my silly baby dreams...and I had forgotten all about it.  While my friends were off at some bar in college, I must have been paging through the patterns (I tend to read them like a novel, suspense and all)...and destiny has it that I will knit that very sweater for my very first and very special boy this year!

Definitely warm.

On Tuesday of this last week, I treated myself to a babysitter for 3 hours.

I've decided that my chronic insanity is due to little time off from one full time job (Axel) and not enough time to devote to my second full time job (fashion). Finding a babysitter was one battle, admitting that I needed her help was another completely.

Setting aside all power issues and giving away control to this girl just about collapsed me, but I was willing to give it a try.  It's only three hours right?

I started the morning off by running to the grocery store.  I found my stride as I entered the bakery and was actually able to relax and remember what was on my list (conveniently sitting at home on the counter...as usual).  As I was waiting for Axels "peppered turkey breast"...he only likes the spicy ones...the $8.99 per pound ones...I spotted a sample station with some delicious butter spritz cookies.  What I love about Cub is that you can sample a whole cookie...they don't waste time cutting them.

After a harmless sample, my hand grabbed one off the shelf and it magically migrated to my cart.  I just let it happen in honor of giving myself a break.

Finishing up at the store, I peacefully loaded the car and drove the 4 blocks back home.  I unloaded in virtual silence and could hear Axel sweetly playing upstairs.

It was time to sew.  I grabbed the box of "butter spritz" in case I needed a nibble and sat down at the machine.  Rockin' out to a Cities 97 sampler cd from the 90's, I stitched, I drew sketches, and not once did I need to rip out due to a distracted mind.

However much my mind seemed focused on my sewing, apparently, my stomach was focusing on the cookies.

When my 3 hours was up and I trudged upstairs to reality, I wondered how many cookies I had actually eaten.  Five, seven...ten at the absolute WORST! The containers are always half empty when you get them.

After lunching Axel and putting him down for a nap, feeling like I deserve just one more treat, I will leave the rest for Jahred, I quietly opened the noisy packaging but noticed the sticker stating "40 count".  They count the damn cookies?  I thought food packaging was a weight measurement.  This was clearly a guilt mechanism placed by executive men shaming their snacking wives...who did they think they were?

Of course by simple math if I were to count the remaining cookies, that would tell me how many I had eaten.  One by one I methodically tallied the remaining cookies and to my horror, there were only thirteen!

Twenty-seven cookies.  Well, actually twenty-eight I reminded myself, I did sample one in the store.

Admitting that the babysitter thing went just fine, I thought I could try it again some day, although next time she would only cost me money and not a pants size.

It's occurred to my over the last 5 consecutive days of being on the road, that traveling with a baby is a lot like running with scissors.

Starting our journey last Thursday, a black tie event to meet a new boyfriend (approved, by the way), I put on my survival face and trudged through a 2 hour dinner.  Initially with color crayons and ultimately letting him color with sour cream and a french fry, I did whatever was necessary.  They have to wash those table cloths anyway.

On Friday, Axel and I braved the cold to see a new yarn shop in Stillwater, MN.  The store did have a play area for kids, but unfortunately, no gate.  Is it too much to ask for a padded room in retail establishments?  Lucky for me though, it's hard to spend copious amounts of money when chasing down your kid.  Eventually you just buy what's in your hand and get the he*l out of the store.

Saturday was a rough one.  Attempting a new craft at my moms proved that I am either lacking in patience or ambition to try new things.  Half way through making velvet pumpkins I had had enough and needed a change of scenery.  Axel and I trekked back across the twin cities where I turned him over to Jahred.  Although you never really turn a kid with the runs over to the father...a mom always ends up dealing with it.

On Sunday, despite attempts to find a babysitter, Axel was forced to be a part of the Minneapolis skyline, 25th floor.  Visiting friends in their new condo overlooking the Mississippi river, and the new Twins Stadium...it is surprisingly difficult to contain him even in the small space of a condominium.  Ironically though, it was Jahred who spilled his own beer.  "Happy House Warming"...here is our child with a side of beer on your new leather furniture.

Eventually when you run with scissors you fall and poke your eye out...or at least your dignity.  With our tails between our legs, we headed home in the darkness of autumn.  Damn...life changes.


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ONE EXCITING ANNOUNCEMENT:

Thanks to all who entered the weekend giveaway!  I now have some wonderful ideas for my own Christmas presents (just kidding). Because I can never choose just 1 winner, I drew 2 names out of the hat.  The winners are:

JEN and CORTNEY
I have to say...Cortney, your idea is beautiful.  Seriously.

To claim your winnings, email your address to me at:
jahred_jen_stephens@hotmail.com

Your prize will arrive by US Postal Service.

STAY TUNED FOR MANY MORE GIVEAWAYS AS THE HOLIDAY SEASON PROGRESSES.

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For quite some time now, I have been forcing Axel to create art. Coloring seems logical at his age, and crayon is easy to scrub from wood floors or high-chair trays.  The only problem with your child being an artist is the high cost of materials.

For a while he insisted on eating the crayons and for fear of springing for yet another $6 set of Melissa and Doug crayons, I closely monitored the problem until they stopped going in his mouth.  Paper is another story.

Not only do I hate having to slash trees to create a writing surface, the paper supply in our house is 13 stairs down, in the basement. Always pondering ways to stay eco-conscious, and save myself any unnecessary calorie burn...I realized that many good people in this world are sending me coloring medium by mail.  In fact, the mailman that I am constantly battling, delivers just what I need all too often.

Axel has started coloring on the backs of bills.  I simply tear off the pay stub, and the rest is his.  How fun my bills are now.  Filing them, quarterly report time, not to mention the fun our accountant will have next January.  I can only hope for an IRS audit...surely they will see the artistic potential in it all.

As he gets more advanced with the crayon...the bills will also help him learn to stay in the lines.  There are plenty of "0's" for him to color in!

wan-der-lust: 
     -noun  
-a strong, innate desire to travel about

still:
     -adjective, noun, adverb, conjunction, verb
-(defined as a adjective) remaining in place or at rest, motionless, stationary, free from sound or noise, free from turbulence or motion, peaceful, tranquil, without waves or perceptible current

for-giv-en:
     -verb
-(defined as forgive) to grant pardon for or remission of, to give up all claim on account of, to cease to feel resentment against, to cancel an indebtedness or liability of, to grant pardon to


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Just as a precious heirloom, language was passed down to us from our ancestors.  I have found words so compelling lately, that I can't get enough of defining experience or emotion with a single word. Sometimes it's the way a word sounds and often it is the definition that makes the word relevant or harmonizes with your soul.

This week, I have been in a love affair with several words, a few are defined above.

A feeling of immense control is given when you can wrap a word around what you're feeling.  Language is incredibly intriguing, and one of the most ancient forms of art.

Just wanted to share these beautiful words.  They are not my own, but are of a community to which we all belong.

Every autumn of our relationship, Jahred and I have found ultimate satisfaction in apple picking.  On HWY 169 (the 80 mile stretch of road we figure to have driven more than 2000 times together) an orchard sits atop the hill.  Along side the road, a billboard posts updates throughout the summer on the apple growth.

Starting out in early spring, the board may say "pruning the trees". "The apples are the size of golfballs"...thats the point where we get excited.  Watching the sign, gazing up the hill, and driving past...this is how we spend our summer in the car.

Late August and into September we are glued to the weather radar for a glimpse of that perfect weekend to ride the hay wagon, be dropped off at the special picking location, and to hunt through acres of trees for the most perfect apples.

The real reason I married Jahred wasn't for his "awesome cleaning skills", his "mad lawn mowing skills" or his "ability to wear even my home-grown haircuts"...it was because everyone knows the best apples are at the top of the tree...Jahred is 6'4".  (By the way, the first 2 example reasons to marry him are sarcastic...just wanted to clear that up.)

Today turned out to be THE day. We had the complete package; great weather, a kid that behaved, success at cramming more apples than humanly possible into the $10 all-you-can-stuff bag, and we came right home to our NEW "Ultimate Apple Peeler, Slicer, Corer" (UAPSC...as we affectionately call it).  The yummiest part of our tradition is creating an apple sauce that not only adds a layer of "stick" to our kitchen, it tastes GREAT.

To spare you the details of me crying over such a divinely created machine as the UAPSC...I will just tell you that over the past few years I have lost plenty of religion over the peeling of hundreds of apples.  This machine saved my life today, and perhaps my marriage.

While I was waiting for the apples to cook down into the apple sauce we LOVE because it's our OWN, Jahred took the boys for a walk. Therapeutically stirring and mashing, I wondered if the old apple trees notice all the couples like us that start with two holding hands and blossom into a family.  Each year I crave the smell a little more, feel more a part the earth, become grounded once again, and then I miss it for 364 days until the next autumn. 

peels are pretty...but cinnamon and sugar are yummy

My first spoonful...no matter how old you get, you never become patient enough to let it cool.